Movie summary:
Too long. Too loud. Too dark. Took itself too seriously.
Not fun, endless CG, ludicrous story line, and some odd monster thrown in at the end because the creators clearly ran out of ideas.
Save your money.
BZ
Or:
“I Wasted Three Hours of My Time So You Won’t Have To”
by BZ
Though those were three hours of my life I won’t be able to get back, the time was ameliorated by the fact that I first went to go see The Big Short (an excellent film actually worth seeing), then theater-hopped to H8ful Eight. Thusly I paid no money to Quentin Tarantino. I made it up to the theater by purchasing two bags of popcorn and two cokes, a set for each film.
I cannot say anything bad about Ennio Morricone’s score, a film composer responsible for classic western themes such as “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly,” “Once Upon the Time In the West,” the “Dollars” films with Clint Eastwood. Overall, an excellent choice by Tarantino, as he has used Morricone before.
That said, the film attempts to be a bit of what it’s not — a sprawling landscape spectacular. And it isn’t. Certainly the Colorado ranch on which it was shot is a gorgeous locale, but the film doesn’t have the exterior brilliance and impact of Innaritu’s “Revenant” though it would appear Tarantino is attempting precisely that, with his lengthy and lingering shots of snow and rolling hills. He just doesn’t have the chops to pull it off and instead of stunning, the shots quickly become, like the rest of the movie, tedious.
Finally, it would appear that this film primarily exists as a celluloid/digital excuse for Tarantino to have his actors say the word “nigger” as many times as possible. Not just Samuel L. Jackson; oh no. Every actor on the set, save perhaps two.
Once you slog through all three hours of this monstrosity you hope there’s some kind of “payoff.” You’d be wrong. Tarantino wants the “payoff” to be a statement about race cooperation (Walton Goggins “comes around,” you see). Instead, the “payoff” is trite and too little for too much patience and time expenditure.
In summary?
The movie is too long, too insipid, the director is a jerk, and you’ll hear the word “nigger” spoken, I’d wager, easily over a hundred times.
If that’s your cup of tea, have at it.
Otherwise, stay away.
You’re welcome.
BZ
I find myself to be a fan of Penn and Teller, their lives shows and their various television series. Their newest is entitled “Fool Us,” where various magicians perform on stage in an attempt to present a magic effect that Penn and Teller truly do not know how to replicate. The goal is to “fool” Penn and Teller.
That said, I very much enjoy the “tiny plunger” of Jon Armstrong:
I found that presentation to be endearing, honest, compelling and somehow innocent, in its own odd way.
Have a great day and a hassle-free weekend if you can.
BZ
Translated: “aren’t you sorry you spent your cash?”
Yes, go ahead, you can say it: “you didn’t see that coming, BZ? George Clooney? Disney? The trailers?”
Apparently I wasn’t paying attention until the film started.
After a few minutes, I knew I’d been bilked by Clooney, Purple Skies, and Leftist Hypocrisy (my wife liked the CGI).
In summary: global warming and corporatism is going to kill us all in just a few years. Adults won’t help; we can only enlist young ethnic kids wearing colorful clothing all around the planet. Everyone but “them” are nothing but Big Evil Carbon Footprinters.
However, the film (“oddly enough”) is littered with big corporate names like GM and Chevrolet. Clooney and the producers don’t mind taking their corporate cash and displaying their products, clearly.
There.
You’ve just seen the film. I have now saved you anywhere between $6 and $15, depending on where you live.
You’re welcome.
BZ
P.S.
For a holiday “blockbuster,” Tomorrowland had the worst Memorial Day weekend take since 2001. In other words, it’s tanking. About a half hour into the film, someone behind us said: “I should’ve waited for Redbox.”
From the NYTimes.com:
Leonard Nimoy, the sonorous, gaunt-faced actor who won a worshipful global following as Mr. Spock, the resolutely logical human-alien first officer of the Starship Enterprise in the television and movie juggernaut “Star Trek,” died on Friday morning at his home in the Bel Air section of Los Angeles. He was 83.
His wife, Susan Bay Nimoy, confirmed his death, saying the cause was end-stage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.
Mr. Nimoy announced last year that he had the disease, which he attributed to years of smoking, a habit he had given up three decades earlier. He had been hospitalized earlier in the week.
Rest in peace, sir. An entire generation enjoyed your work and will remember you fondly.
BZ