California Governor Jerry Brown decided back in 2015 that he was going to live in the original Governors Mansion in downtown Sacramento, located at 1526 H Street between 15th and 16th Streets — where his father Edmund G. “Pat” Brown used to live as governor in the 1960s.

The mansion issues are, well, fairly obvious. There is no real fence per se, anyone can hop the thing. The portico on the west side provides the real security — plus other CHP DPS (Dignitary Protection Section) fixes and features that you might guess are present on the grounds.

Figure 1: CHP utilizing genetically-modified giant horses to guard the capitol area in downtown Sacramento. This is a real photograph and not Photoshopped (okay, I’ll spill: it’s a Clydesdale acquired from Budweiser in Vallejo at a reduced rate).

With that orientation and background in mind, let’s get into the gist of the story, from KFIAM640.com:

Homeless Man Arrested After Walking into Gov. Jerry Brown’s Residence

by RJ Johnson

A 51-year-old homeless man is in jail today after he allegedly walked into Gov. Jerry Brown’s mansion on H Street in Sacramento.

According to the CHP, Steven Seeley was arrested for trespassing “on the executive residence property, breaking a side window on the first floor of the residence.”

Seeley told the Sacramento Bee that he entered the history governor’s mansion without any interference from Brown’s security detail (that was apparently on site through the entire incident). The homeless man told reporters that he had spotted some wild animals, possibly lions or cougars, on the streets of midtown Sacramento. He says he walked through the door of the mansion to warn Brown’s security detail because he knew they had “big guns.”

Seeley is partially correct. CHP’s DPS have guns; perhaps not “big” like .50 caliber “big” just clanking about the hallways, but certainly of sufficient size and heft to perform an adequate task at the mansion.

Here’s where it becomes interesting.

Seeley says he entered Brown’s residence to help prevent the governor from being attacked. 

“I was looking for the security staff, but I didn’t see anybody,” Seeley said Thursday. “I thought the governor was in trouble, I thought he was in danger of being attacked by the wild animals, so I walked in. I yelled ‘Jerry.'”

Seeley says that after he walked inside and didn’t see anyone, he heard muffled roaring and hid inside a small room or closet. He then left through a window in the room that led to a fenced-in yard, breaking the window and cutting himself in the process.

He did it out of love for our governor. Now that’s one selfless act, if you ask me. He tells us so, here.

But wait, there’s more.

He walked back out into the street, looking for help, asking multiple passers-by for help calling 911. Eventually, a couple pulled over and took him to the hospital where he underwent surgery and later arrested. 

Yeah. Two days later.

You see, there’s just a wee bit of schadenfreude involved for any number of reasons.

• First: it was a homeless man. California loves its homeless. Wait. Until it doesn’t and they actually threaten someone important to the state — certainly not you or me;
• Second: it was a mentally unhinged individual who felt compelled to enter the mansion due to the presence of lions or cougars (the four-footed variety; shame on you!) outside. California loves its unhinged. Wait. Until it doesn’t and they actually threaten someone important to the state — certainly not you or me;
• Third: Governor Brown became apoplectic himself, threw camshafts and went 210/190 when he discovered his wife, Anne Gust, was present in the mansion when the incident occurred on April 19th — to the point that he demanded the man be arrested for a felony and that he do prison time.

Hang on; it gets better.

• Fourth: — and you’re gonna love this one — that didn’t happen. Remember: the homeless nutcase was officially arrested for trespassing, which is a misdemeanor in California. Just above an infraction, which is what you have when an officer issues you, say, a traffic ticket.
• Fifth: up to a few years ago this man could have been charged with 459 PC, burglary, a felony in the state. But because of measures and propositions (Brown’s lovingly-inspired Propositions 47 and 57 in this case) voted upon by politicians and the electorate, authorities know that, in today’s California environment, the intake DA will larf his or her arse off but upon seeing that report cross their desk.

Hence the misdemeanor charge of “trespassing,” 602 PC. All because of Jerry Brown-sponsored Leftist initiatives and laws to adjudge arrestees much less harshly because of the challenging environments they encountered as harmless and innocent children.

“Governor Brown and Schadenfreude, table for two, your table is ready.”

Drink up, Jerry.

BZ