Just when I thought Hillary was having a bad week last week, I documented her equally-bad past week here and here and here.  It’s been a splendid feast at the Hillary Theater of the Absurd.

I start out with this video today because, frankly, it just makes me larf out loud to see the American Media Maggots smacked upside their stupid heads with the truth — and they don’t want to believe it.  Prepare to bark like a duck, dearest readers.

CNN Stunned when fact checkers confirm #HillaryClinton phones destroyed with hammers. She is disqualified to #potus pic.twitter.com/KT2bm99OoX

— Michael Keyes (@michaelkeyes) September 3, 2016

Was that not grand, eh wot?

These are actions that, you, the American Taxpayer, funded:

.@HillaryClinton Had 13 Diff Mobile Devices, All Of Which Are ‘Missing’ https://t.co/ndZxwzWZvy #ClintonsMemory pic.twitter.com/9f4yyUMd5x

— I Yam What I Yam (@Nvr4Get91101) September 3, 2016

There were so many Clinton catastrophes this past week that I actually have to break them down individually.

1. Hillary Clinton lost classified cellular phones.

From Breitbart.com:

FBI: Hillary Clinton Lost Cell Phones with Classified Emails

by Joel B. Pollak

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton lost several mobile telephones carrying e-mails from her private server during her time in office, according to newly-released FBI documents on the investigation into her mishandling of classified information.

“[Huma] Abedin and [former Clinton aide Monica] Hanley indicated the whereabouts of Clinton’s [mobile] devices would frequently become unknown once she transitioned to a new device,” one report indicates.

On other occasions, a staffer would destroy Clinton’s old mobile phones “by breaking them in half or hitting them with a hammer,” the FBI documents reveal.

Uh, yeah.  See the video above.  But wait for the damning paragraph:

The fact that Clinton’s staff attempted to destroy her old smartphones whenever they could indicates that they knew there was sensitive information on the devices.

In law enforcement, that is called a “consciousness of guilt.”

2. Hillary did not know what “C” meant.

Not cement.  What “C” meant.

The FBI chose not to indict @HillaryClinton, so the American people have to do it in November. #HillarysAmerica pic.twitter.com/Pdyk6MzWCl

— Dinesh D’Souza (@DineshDSouza) September 4, 2016

From the NYPost.com:

Clinton claims she didn’t know emails marked ‘C’ were confidential

by Carl Campanile, Daniel Halper and Linda Massarella

Hillary Clinton was so cavalier about security at the State Department that she told FBI agents she had no idea that the letter “C” stood for confidential in official e-mails.

Time and again during a 3 1/2-hour interview with agents investigating her private email server, the Democratic presidential candidate shrugged off concerns that her digital behavior was endangering the nation’s security.

• When asked about an email chain containing “C’’ markings during her tenure as Secretary of State, Clinton “speculated it was referencing paragraphs marked in alphabetical order.” instead of the obvious designation for confidential or classified data.

• Clinton didn’t know the difference between the government’s classifications of TOP SECRET, SECRET, and CONFIDENTIAL. In fact, she told the FBI that she “did not pay attention to the ‘level’ of classification and took all classified information seriously.”

• Clinton had 13 separate cell phones, including 11 smart phones linked to two different phone numbers – eight of which were used during her tenure at the state Department.

Hello?  Calling all morons?  So Hillary answered.

3. Hillary lost a laptop containing classified info in the mail.

At this point your proper response would be something on the order of “what the hell?”  First, for sending something like that through the US mail and, second, for trusting the US mail in the first place.

From Breitbart.com:

Laptop with Entire Clinton Email Archive Lost in the Mail

by Michelle Moons

Both an Apple laptop and a thumb drive containing a 2013 archive of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s emails was lost after being put in the mail and never provided to the FBI according to the agency’s documentation of it’s investigation into Clinton’s mishandling of classified information.

Folks, you couldn’t write an episode of the Keystone Cops as moronic as this.

A person whose name was redacted in the FBI documentation told the agency that after the email archive was transferred, the emails were deleted, but he “did not wipe the laptop.” The person further told the FBI that, on Hanley’s instruction, he shipped the laptop using either the “United States Postal Service or United Parcel Service to [redacted] who was Clinton’s [redacted] at the time.”

FBI documentation then states, “[redacted] told the FBI that she never received the laptop from [redacted] however, she advised that Clinton’s staff was moving offices at the time, and it would have been easy for the package to get lost during the transition period. Neither Hanley nor [redacted] could identify the current whereabouts of the Archive Laptop or thumb drive containing the archive, and the FBI does not have either item in its possession.”

Lost.  Hey, no big dealio, eh wot?  Just national security shite.  Yawn.  What’s that “C” mean again?

4. Hillary told FBI she never received a classified document briefing, but paperwork says otherwise.

From the WeeklyStandard.com:

Hillary Signed She Received Briefing on Classified Info, But Told FBI She Hadn’t

by Jeryl Bier

Either Hillary Clinton lied to the FBI or she lied on a State Department form as she began her tenure as Secretary of State. This conclusion appears inescapable after Friday’s FBI document release related to the Clinton email investigation.

As revealed by those FBI documents, Clinton told agents that she could not recall “any briefing or training by State related to the retention of federal records of handling of classified information”.

There’s a problem, though. This problem:

Hillary Clinton is, truly, the gift that keeps on giving.  That is, if these were ordinary times covered by actual journalists with an actual curiosity.  Nope.  None of those here in the US.  Damned few.  Above the fold or leading newscasts?  Nope.  Wouldn’t be prudent.

The American Media Maggots keep waiting for Hillary to extend her hand so they can lick it, or she pats them on the head.

But wait! she says.  Things are changing!  Having had no open press conferences in 275 days, Hillary has deigned to lower herself to having the press on her new blue campaign plane.  So Monday, with pens and cameras and digital voice recorders in hand, what did the press ask?

Clinton, under pressure for not holding a press conference for nearly 280 days, was peppered with questions like, “How was your Labor Day weekend?” Another question: “Are you ready?”

“Do you have a Labor Day message?” one reporter asked.

Yes!  The media digs deep for concerned, insightful and probing questions for Hillary Clinton!

But everything in its due time and, hell, it’s all excusable anyway:

Asked if she was instructed about the preservation of records when she was leaving office in 2013, Clinton noted that she suffered a concussion in December 2012 and “ could not recall every briefing she received.”

The dog ate her homework.  She was asleep in her bunk at the time.  She hit her head.

She can’t be bothered with something as petty as national security.  Security worries are not for Clintons.  They are for little people.

BZ