Sometimes you just have to step back and wonder: “what the hell?”

This is one of those times.

From USAToday.com:

EPA appeals to its workers not to poop in the hallway

[I interject: yes, this is a real story. —BZ]

by Doug Stanglin

Forget toxic waste dumps, the Environmental Protection Agency apparently has a more immediate cleanup problem in its own backyard: An employee defecating in the hallway.

GovernmentExecutive.com, the government’s business news daily and key website for federal managers and executives, reported Wednesday that the EPA management for Region 8 in Denver sent an e-mail earlier this month to staff pleading to stop inappropriate bathroom behavior, including defecating in the hallway.

I ask again: are you serious?  The answer: completely serious.

GovernmentExecutive.com, the government’s business news daily and key website for federal managers and executives, reported Wednesday that the EPA management for Region 8 in Denver sent an e-mail earlier this month to staff pleading to stop inappropriate bathroom behavior, including defecating in the hallway.

In the e-mail, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor noted “several incidents” in the building, including clogging the toilets with paper towels and “an individual placing feces in the hallway” outside the restroom.

Ladies and gentlemen, these are your tax dollars at work.

You are paying for some federal government employee to crap on various hallways.  And for other federal employees to discover same.

From the WashingtonPost.com:

GovernmentExecutive.com obtained an e-mail from Denver EPA administrator Howard Cantor asking employees to please not leave feces in the hallway.

Here’s the critical excerpt from the article:

In the email, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned “several incidents” in the building, including clogging the toilets with paper towels and “an individual placing feces in the hallway” outside the restroom.

I’ll wager your job site has a similar plea: please don’t leave your personal feces in the hallway.

Just as it has an operations order regarding the preference of not pissing in your cubicle, but in actual toilets ascribed to the two genders.  As antiquated as that may be.

But, laughingly, here’s where the Leftist Captain Obvious steps in:

Confounded by what to make of this occurrence, EPA management “consulted” with workplace violence “national expert” John Nicoletti, who said that hallway feces is in fact a health and safety risk. He added the behavior was “very dangerous” and the individuals responsible would “probably escalate” their actions.

“Management is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute these individuals,” Cantor wrote. He asked for any employees with knowledge of the poop bandit or bandits to notify their supervisor.

I actually had to write this post.  And I actually had to ascribe sources to its material.  And keep a straight face.

That bespeaks volumes in and of itself.

BZ