You can’t write this stuff.
From MotherboardVice.com (whatever the hell that is):
The Petition to Make Emoji Less Racist
If you spend a decent amount of time on the internet, chances are you’ve heard people raising hell because there are no African-American Emoji icons. Diversity-minded texters are now actually trying to do something about the emoticon racism problem, by petitioning Apple to add more people of color to its Emoji keyboard.
“If these Emoji are going to be the texting and Twitter standard, we think it’d be cool if they better reflected the diversity of the people using them,” argues a petition currently up on DoSomething.org, spotted by Fast Company.
The petition laments that out of 800 emoticons, the only two person icons that aren’t white: a guy who looks “vaguely Asian” and another wearing a turban. Meanwhile, it points out, there are two different camels, a smiling pile of poo, and a cop, bride, grandma and dancer, all white. But zero black people.
Stop the presses! Emoticons are racist, those evil bastards! Or bastardettes! Or LGBTQ bastardoritos! Bastardoritas?
But if you wish even more extreme irrelevancy — to the point where you’re likely in another dimension entirely — read this:
Some white emojis, such as the image of the police officer, appear to hold positions of power, emphasizing the idea that minorities do not commonly occupy skilled jobs like these. In addition, the blonde princess represents that only pure and royal whites can obtain power. In fact, I am surprised that they do not have a white king. The white angel also shows white purity, while an image of white hands held up in a prayer position implies that religion or Catholicism is a white concept. In addition, the absence of non-white females demonstrates a lack of awareness of the intersectionality between race and gender in society.
Emoticons in “positions of power.” Once again, the white Emoticon keeping the black emoticon down.
What a wonderful society this must be when, as a Millennial, all you have to be concerned with is the racism of Emoticons.
I shake my head. What a massive generation of navel-gazing pussies we have raised.
Pssst. Hello? Leftists? Anyone notice that Emoticons are actually yellow?