BZ’s Berserk Bobcat Saloon Radio Show, 6.18.24 — a Tribute to Angus, My Rescue Dog

Our oldest rescue dog, Angus Cormac, passed away at 4:30 Sunday morning, June Father’s Day. He was 13 years, 3 months, and two days old.

He came to us as a rescue from Jackson, Kalifornia, on Valentine’s Day, February 14th, 2021. He was already 10 years old. We only had 3 years with him, just not enough time.
He was raised as an “only dog” in a single Dog Mom household, where Mom was involved in a vehicle accident and passed away. Suddenly, everything in his life changed. He didn’t know why. Her son didn’t want Angus. We sure did.

He was a holiday dog. We picked him up on Valentine’s Day, and he passed today, on Father’s Day. I was his first and only Papa Daddy.

We exited Kalifornia and traveled to a Free State, where he had a nicer home, much bigger yard, surrounded by mountains he loved and lakes he explored. We tried very hard to provide him with his best dog life.

He had lots of aliases, as dogs do, like Shadow, Shadow Unit, Godzilla Tail, and Dark Knight.

We also called him Kindness, as he was so considerate with our other two rescue dogs. The perfect gentleman, he conducted himself with civility, acted with aplomb, dignity, and poise, enjoyed life to the fullest, and was loved with all our hearts.

He was remarkably self-aware, very intelligent, circumspect, and understood quite a bit. His eyes revealed that.

It was only in the past week that he had an occasional cough, and then some labored breathing in the past three days.

This morning at 2 AM, I was up, and noticed that he was restless, using his whole chest to try to breathe, his neck extended.

I awakened my wife and we went to the vet ER. He passed an hour and a half later.
It was so fast. Congestive heart failure.

The folks at the vet ER were very compassionate.

Angus was first placed in an oxygen kennel where he perked right up. We got to give him his final pet through a little portal, and he gave my wife his final dog kiss. He had oxygen and pain meds. But his heart was too weakened.

And there’s a hole in our hearts where our little boy used to be.

We had no kids.

He was our son.

Angus, my boy, at the door. Dad, welcome home!

Here is the show on Rumble. Start at 3:30. The only reason I did the show was to vent some adrenaline and anxiety.

I swear to all, I never in a thousand years thought that the passing of “just a dog” would affect me anything remotely like this. I hadn’t seen this coming in the slightest.

Holding Angus Cormac after he had passed. What a beautiful, innocent soul. Perhaps this sounds strange, but I am glad I held him close.

I’ve anguished over the passing of Angus even more than my mother, 22 years ago. I don’t know where this came from.

My wife holds our boy. He was Kindness. 

I’m heartbroken and absolutely perplexed, both at once.

Was it his kindness, his awareness, his civility, his beautiful nature, his complete innocence in times of evil? I don’t understand any of it.

I haven’t yet slept, I’ve been unwound, anxious, actually emotional. This is 100% not me. My wife has been outwardly much calmer than me, and slept the night.

I’m at a loss in most every way.

BZ

 

Damaged dogs

Lilly doesn’t like her photo taken. Her eyes and muzzle are now mostly gray and she is predominantly deaf, with terrible cataracts. What kind of dog is this, BTW?

This is the last post I’d have thought to write this week. But after the last interaction, I suppose it had to come out.

I’ll admit it up front. My wife is the Dog Person. I am the Cat Person. My mantra has been that dogs are for people who require cheerleaders in their lives. My life has predominantly been precisely the opposite. Trying my best to stay out of the limelight in law enforcement. As people are wont to say, cats don’t have owners. Cats have staff. The last thing I need is a cheerleader. I like quiet.

Cats have historically fitted my lifestyle because they’ve been units that I can toss out when necessary and then place on Ignore Mode when also necessary. Cats are very independent. Just like me. As such, they resonate. I’ve always had a cat in my life, until I met my second wife and until I lost Mose. Back to that in a moment.

I didn’t really begin to appreciate dogs until I was asked to try out for the SSD Canine Unit. I was given an older German Shepard dog named Ehren by Bill Lipshin, who trained our dogs in the 1980s. Bill had the final say and didn’t care for my yard layout at home so nixed me as a handler. I spent a few weeks as an agitator and then left. A major regret for me because Ehren was one older, lightweight Mach III neutron bomb.

I’ve always had cats until my second marriage in 2007. My wife is a Dog Person and, as such, had five dogs when I met her. All rescue animals. A cat was right out. That is, until I found Mose, whom I acquired in 2008 at a Placer County cat rescue facility. Raised with the dogs from a kitten, he would play with them until one day he exited through the dog door and never returned. He was my last cat. Ten + years ago.

He was a great cat; friendly, loving, swift to ramp up the Cat Motor. I can only hope that he found a good family who are treating him well.

I still miss Mose terribly to this day. He used to be my blogging buddy (see the photo) and would lay on my upstairs desk with his head over the keyboard as I would create posts, snow falling outside the window, warmed by my desk lamp. Sometimes my keyboard would write O[-O0AJGF-PAYE39HERO9Y due to his, ahem, “efforts.”

Mose as a kitten. I raised him from the proverbial Palm Kitty.

In Winter he would also jump up on the bed and nose himself under the covers, and sleep at my side or at my feet. If I lay on my side, he would curl himself up between my arm and my body. He knew where the Heat Generator was located.

I had a few feral cat buddies for a while, but they are gone now.

Because of my inconsistent schedule, I cannot have any more animals at my cabin in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Sometimes I’m at my house three days a week; sometimes I’m here two days a week. Sometimes I’m at my house for only one day. Sometimes, schedule-dependent, I won’t hit my house for two weeks. That’s simply not fair to any animal. The fact that I cannot have another cat disappoints me greatly. But at least I’m smart enough to realize it.

Then we came across Teddy. But that’s a story for another day.

In the meantime, the schedule is something like this. I leave the house to broadcast on SHR on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights. I get back at about 10:30 PM.

The Damaged Dog is waiting. Everyone else has gone to bed. Lilly is the Damaged Dog.

The Damaged Dog brooks no love. Until and unless she wants it, which is seldom.

But tonight, at least ten years later, something has happened. She padded into the office as I was writing a post, pushed my left leg and placed her muzzle on top of my left knee.

I responded with patting and beating and smoothing her fur. She loved it. For once.

She is a rescue dog.

She is a Damaged Dog.

Maybe after ten years we’re finally beginning to connect?

BZ

 

Savor every moment

Because time is passing.

Much faster than we know today.  .  .

Sometimes we all just need to take a breath and perhaps appreciate a few of the blessed things we have in our lives, right in front of us.

BZ