I woke up yesterday morning and I took a walk. I put on glasses so I could see.
There were flowers growing, though it was cold. I could reach out and touch them, they were physical, I rubbed my thumb and forefinger on their fragile petals. They were a living manifestation of beauty.
Along my path was a small brook cutting its jagged way down the hill, winding under the road and then emptying further down and disappearing into the pines beyond. I could hear its speech and watched blades of grass mix with the water and drift with the flow.
I walked further and could hear the lonesome horns of an approaching train, then heard the massive strength of its four locomotives struggling up the hill, the engines giving vibration to my lungs. I looked at a few leaves left on nearby trees and marveled at their greater, quiet, incredible strength this time of year.
I finished my walk in solitude, examined the crackling-sharp cerulean sky, awed with the majesty of the young and old pines and firs and having noticed what I should notice each day: the smallest bit of moss to the blue above and the ebon beyond. It is a miracle that I should have awakened today and a blessing if I do so tomorrow. Where have I been? How has my life passed so quickly to this point? What have I done? What is the point? What is my purpose? How were all these beautiful things possible? How did they get here? Big questions. My mind ached. I needed more than glasses to See.
I couldn’t manage the problems I laid on myself
And it just made it worse when I laid them on somebody else
So I finally surrendered it all brought down in dispair
I cried out for help and I felt a warm comforter there.
And I came to believe in a power much higher than I
I came to believe that I needed help to get by
In childlike faith I gave in and gave him a try
And I came to believe in a power much higher than I
Nothing worked out when I handled it all on my own
And each time I failed it made me feel twice as alone
Then I cried, “Lord there must be a sure and easier way
For it just cannot be that a man should lose hope every day.
Yes, I came to believe in a power much higher than I.
— Johnny Cash, I Came To Believe, American V, 2006
I don’t think I happened to believe in God; I think I’ve come to believe in God.
BZ
Wonderful, BZ, absolutely wonderful! Just let go and turn your life over to Him. Isn’t it a glorious feeling?
Speaking of glorious, this is a glorious post. Your writing is absolutely beautiful!
God bless you, my friend. You’ll find things changing for the better; that’s God’s promise to all of us when we embrace him. 🙂
Gayle: thank you most kind. I just kinda hadda get it out there. Compelled.
BZ
I meant: “kindly.”
LOL! “Kind” or “Kindly”, makes no difference. You’re welcome, BZ, and I hope that you are feeling better. 🙂
Oh, I also meant to add to that last comment that political blogging can also be depressing all by itself. I have to get away from it occasionally, otherwise I’d go stark raving bonkers. That’s when I get up, stretch, and take a walk like you did. It refreshes the brain and clears it. I’m trying to do it more frequently, but the danged weather isn’t co-operating with me just now.
Thats awesome BZ!! I looooooove that Johnny Cash song. I had never read the words to it before but it is soo good!!
Gayle and LMC: thanks for your good wishes and I hope I can keep up my end of the bargain.
BZ
well BZ you might get kicked out of the Man club for being so eloquent, Us men are supposed to be Rough and Tumble…. FLOWERS? man have you lost it?
Turning to God should not sound so feminine….. LMBO (I cleaned that up)
BTW, Real nice writing well done (shhh don’t tell anyone I said that)
Bushwack: secret’s safe with me, mum’s the darned word!
BZ
BZ,
Your honesty is astounding and quite refreshing. This post reminds me of me. One can’t be intellectually honest while looking at creation and say there is no designer.
There is a God and among many things, he is an artist and when you look at what he has made it is so obvious that his fingerprints are all over it.
Revka: yours is the finest, most salient, most hopeful comment I’ve seen on my blog in my memory. Thank you. That was my precise point and you managed to pen it beautifully.
BZ