13 thoughts on “Change, Part II”

  2. Strange I should read your next post and come up with this…
    “GUMPERSON’S LAW: The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.”

  7. Blo,
    It is hard to accept agnosticism or atheism. in 1988 I too had that way of thinking about life, but the whole issue of purpose kept bugging me. (not referring to that book a purpose driven life either), I am just saying I remember how I just couldnt’ shake off the fact of how everything seemed to be so well ordered in this universe and I knew I would some day die and shrivel up and that I had a purpose here. I thought that mostly everything has a purpose. They all work together.. The birds, the grass, the bugs the air and how it is composed, the trees how they work in regard to the whole, and how even if the sun moves one iota we are toast. Then I thought, “O.k. I can believe we have a designer here, but I can’t agree about the whole Jesus thing”.. Of course that was over a period of time in my thinking..but it wasn’t long that the whole sin thing started bugging me too. I mean, I knew if I died I would be ashamed standing before God because I was a HUGE sinner. 😉

    Then I saw my brother’s life totally change. I mean, his attitudes were different. He is a VERY smart guy and would NEVER fall for some ridiculous belief system.

    My brother used to treat me like crap. But, I remember the last time he did he held my hand and asked me to forgive him. That made a huge impact on me. Then I remember seeing him read his bible. Then I remember thinking how embarrsed I would be doing that, but I couldn’t shake the peace I saw in his life, and it was obvious he had some relationship with God or something.

    Anyway, I didn’t really feel a change coming on in my life like you did.. I guess with me, I was sick of having tried everything to fill that void in my life, and realizing nothing would. I kind of had my life built on sand, not on rock, and it was falling apart. I realized I really didn’t have as much control as I thought and when I did try to control it I did a horrible job!! 🙂

    I just decided to give the reigns to God and my life began this huge change.

    Anyway, just my story, and after reading yours I wanted to share it cuz I can relate.

  8. My story is coming, I believe; but there are still many lines and threads to sort out. But I am beginning to understand why it is that I do this and why I am changing. A looming sense of mortality and insignificance, I suspect, amongst a whole host of other things. I have a draft going and hope to finish this week or perhaps this weekend.

    BZ

  9. This sounds like good news, BZ. I’m looking forward to your next post. Revka’s comment is very profound and honest. At the risk of sounding like a preacher, I personally know from experience that when we turn our lives over to God we go through a dramatic change, as Revka testifies to. She opened her heart in that comment, and I admire her for it. I’ll have to go visit her, because I’ve never been, but it’s too late tonight. I’ll do it soon though.

    Blessings, BZ.

  11. Mr. Z – Some few have felt a change coming, I describe it as The Oncoming Storm. Its final form and shape and strength are not known, but it is coming… been feeling the first breaths of it from last summer onwards and can hear the angry growl of it in the Land of Grey. The shadows shift and do not lift and move without body.

    I am, of course, pessimist at heart which means being light of heart each morning as I have seen another morn and dear Yellowstone remains a park and not a roiling caldera. This storm is not that… set into action years if not decades ago, it comes. Such as I now watch those shadows and think and look and wait. I fear not this man-made storm as I understand the mere shortness of light and life and the worth of its defending. Beyond code that need not be codified, that ill future seen and visited once is no worry.

    You make the choices right for you and live with them and if you find yourself knowing them, good and bad, then nothing else can be asked by any. Understand and accept oneself and that is all that can be done with that save look for those things that dissatisfy and say: ‘No more of that for me!’

    And each morn you awake, the world still here and the churning caldera not there… it is a good day to be alive.

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