It’s time to file down your knives in the UK

Heard in London recently: “You there! Put down that butter knife!”

Just when you thought Leftists couldn’t become more imbecilic — well, they become more inbecilic.

From the UKTelegraph.com:

Knives are too sharp and filing them down is solution to soaring violent crime, judge says

by Joel Adams

A judge has proposed a nationwide programme to file down the points of kitchen knives as a solution to the country’s soaring knife crime epidemic.

Last week in his valedictory address, retiring Luton Crown Court Judge Nic Madge spoke of his concern that carrying a knife had become routine in some circles and called on the Government to ban the sale of large pointed kitchen knives.

Latest figures show stabbing deaths among teenagers and young adults have reached the highest level for eight years, and knife crime overall rose 22 per cent in 2017.

In the past two months, he said, there have been 77 knife-related incidents in Bedfordshire, including three killings.

Thank God I wasn’t drinking a carbonated beverage when creating this post. Oh, the humanity!

Judge Madge told the assembled  judges, barristers and court staff: “These offences often seem motiveless – one boy was stabbed because he had an argument a couple of years before at his junior school.”

He said laws designed to reduce the availability of weapons to young would-be offenders had had “almost no effect”, since the vast majority had merely taken knives from a cutlery drawer.

One easy remedy is to ban cutlery drawers. Further, cutlery drawers should be eliminated from future homes and homes being built now. That would solve a good portion of the UK’s issue with knife crime.

He asked: “But why we do need eight-inch or ten-inch kitchen knives with points?

“Butchers and fishmongers do, but how often, if at all, does a domestic chef use the point of an eight-inch or ten-inch knife? Rarely, if at all.”

Good point. The UK banned guns. It’s well and truly time to ban knives. Sporks will just have to do.

This could create another new burgeoning industry entirely: food resembling the pablum of infants. Think of the children!

Why cut your food when there’s no need? Simply create food which is mixed in blenders or, at room temperature, can be spread with a spork. The problem with that is that, sooner or later, the UK will have to deal with the pointy edges of a spork. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet.

So, he said: “I would urge all those with any role in relation to knives – manufacturers, shops, the police, local authorities, the government – to consider preventing the sale of long pointed knives, except in rare, defined, circumstances, and replacing such knives with rounded ends.

“It might even be that the police could organise a programme whereby the owners of kitchen knives, which have been properly and lawfully bought for culinary purposes, could be taken somewhere to be modified, with the points being ground down into rounded ends,” he said.

As the British are wont to say: brilliant!

Office for National statistics figures published in February revealed 215 fatal stabbings had been recorded by police in the 12 months to March 2017.

This was on par with the previous year’s 212 stabbing deaths but a marked increase on the 186 in the year to March 2015.

The latest figures show ten 16 or 17 year olds lost their lives in the year to March 2017, as well as 51 people aged between 18 and 24. The combined total is the highest since 2008/9.

In the first 100 days of 2018, 53 people were killed in the capital alone, many of them victims of knife crime.

Of course, we must realize that Islam has absolutely nothing to do with the increase in knife crimes. Absolutely nothing.

  • When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns;
  • When knives are outlawed, only outlaws will have knives;
  • When baseball bats are outlawed, only outlaws will have baseball bats;
  • When heavy lamps are outlawed, only outlaws will have heavy lamps;

And.  .  .

  • When rocks are outlawed, only outlaws will have rocks.

The UK should take solace in the fact that their crime rate has surpassed that of New York City. Now there’s something of which to be proud.

BZ

 

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5 thoughts on “It’s time to file down your knives in the UK

  1. UK crime rate is still way way lower than US. There are also far fewer accidental deaths due to knives than guns, is also a lot more difficult to kill yourself with a knife than a gun.

    But UK doesn’t have a 2nd amendment of course.

    And it does pay its NATO share!

    Also Judge Madge, could you post a link that provides his political leaning. I did try and search but could not find his political party.

  2. The UK citizens had the good sense to opt out of the EU in spite of the howls of their political “betters”. Maybe the public opinion will soon swing toward being citizens, not subjects.

    • UK citizens did not vote to leave the EU, England did and so did Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland voted to remain.

      Citizens vs subjects…pah!

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