I purchased a new pair of shoes this past weekend, at Sports Authority in Fornicalia.
An attachment to my shoes read:
WARNING
To avoid severe personal injury when riding escalators & moving walking
– Stand in the middle of the step facing forward
– Do not contact any surface next to the moving tread or step
– Step carefully when getting on or off
– Hold children’s hand & supervise children at all times
This was for a pair of SHOES. Some lined Crocs.
Hello? SHOES!
America?? Are you awake??
BZ
I credit a commenter’s style from Ace of Spades mocking NBC anchor Brian Williams, “Tort reform? Never heard of it.”
darn, BZ, I can’t read the print against the dark background..sorry!
Thanks for deregulation Bush!
End product of frivolous lawsuits.
Kind of sad when there’s a warning on “Preparation-H” “do not take orally”
I’m all for letting nature weed out the stupid and the lawyers…
We used to have a legal system based upon a standard of the average citizen, where if an average man could be expected to know what to do in a situation or how to use something, then you really couldn’t make a case that your asinine use of an item or insanely stupid thing you did was the fault of the manufacturer.
Now we have the legal standard that you, the average citizen, is a moron and the corporation is deific in its knowledge of how you, the moron, will not think about how you use a product. That means that we now have the moron legal standard requiring warning labels on every damned thing.
On a can of Planter’s Peanuts, right at my table:
“Manufactured on equipment that processes tree nuts.”
and
“Choking Warning Do not give nuts to children under 6.”
Oooooo!! I never would of expected that nuts were processed via nut processing equipment! Or that children can choke on small objects, save those that seem to be able to swallow dimes rather easily…
At least the iodized salt container is still warning label free… and the spices in the spice cupboard. The petroleum jelly OTOH comes with ‘For external use only’ and ‘do not get into eyes’! Also ‘Do not use on deep puncture wounds, animal bites or severe burning’ so whatever you do don’t bring it to the dog fighting garage on the south side built over an old kerosene storage container, because this stuff just won’t help you once that is all mixed together.
For most electronics it is RTFM when all else fails, because they are non-intuitively designed.
Tort reform and the common man standard are necessary… the over-lawyered moron standard is just plain nuts.
Processed on equipment used for processing those in need of an asylum.
Gah!
A warning attached to shoes?
IMO the manufacturer is taking precautions against getting sued. Inane, of course.
Hey, these will look “spiffy” when you wear them to work. Just what is needed when addressing the troops commencing to go out on the streets and do battle.
Next, electric drills with warnings not to use drill to clean wax out of ears.
I slap my forehead at the purposeful dumbing down of America. Thank you, attorneys and greedy bastard civilians.
BZ
Damn, I didn’t know we were so dumb. I see it now on ceral boxes–careful, do not overload your spoon because you may get choked! The nannys are everywhere, everywhere I turn.
Litigation Gone Wild. Which is the response to the abdication of personal responsibility.
Those are the gayest shoes I’ve ever seen a man buy. Please tell me your wife brought them for you!
Tim: aaaaaaaaaaah, now THAT was funny!!
BZ