“Top Signs There’s Trouble at The New York Times:”

10: Extensive coverage of recent fighting between the Israelis and the lesbians;
9: Pages 2 through 20 are corrections of previous edition;
8: Stories written on Etch A Sketch;
7: Every sentence begins, “So, like”;
6: TV listings only for Zorro;
5: Weather forecast reads “Look outside, dumbass”;
4: Multiple references to “President Gore”;
3: Obituary includes list of people they wish were dead;
2: Headlines fold over to create surprise Mad magazine-type hidden message;
1: Restaurant critic recently gave IHOP four stars.

Condi has been given a terrible task; I wouldn’t like it. She’s confounded and, evidently, so is Hezbollah:

A senior Hezbollah official said Tuesday the guerrilla group did not expect Israel to react so strongly to its capture of two Israeli soldiers.

“The truth is — let me say this clearly — we didn’t even expect (this) response. . . that (Israel) would exploit this operation for this big war against us,” said Mahmoud Komati, deputy chief of Hezbollah’s political arm.

Israel also killed a highly-placed Hezbollah commander.

Israel’s 48-year-old Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni says: “There can no longer be a Hezbollah.”

SPIEGEL: Madam Minister, after Hezbollah attacked a patrol and kidnapped two soldiers, your government launched a military offensive that you defend as your right to self defense. But what does the bombing of Beirut have to do with a right to self defense?

LIVNI: The legitimacy of our answer relies on the size of the threat and not a specific attack. Hezbollah as a real threat to us is a fact that is acknowledged by the entire world. Sheik Nasrallah wants to assume the position of a provocateur to prevent peace in the area of Israel and Lebanon. Israel will fight the Hezbollah wherever they are. Their command center is in southern Beirut. This is why we bombed this area.

“Israel is determined to continue on in the fight against Hezbollah. We will stop them. We will not hesitate to take severe measures against those who are aiming thousands of rockets and missiles against innocent civilians for the one purpose of killing them,” Olmert said.

MANSEHRA, Pakistan (Reuters) – Muslim clerics in Pakistan’s conservative North West Frontier Province want local authorities to expel all women working for international relief agencies in earthquake affected areas by the end of this month.

The clerics accuse the women, including Pakistanis employed by foreign non-government organizations (NGOs), of dressing improperly, mixing with men and drinking alcohol, which is banned in Islamic Pakistan.

“We are not against the NGOs, but we are against them spreading obscenity in society and trying to weaken our faith by corrupting our women,” Moazzam Ali Shah, head of Tehreek-e-Islaha Muashra, or Movement to Cleanse Society, told Reuters in Mansehra town.

The clerics have not said what action they might take if the women aid workers are not asked to leave.

Today is Tuesday. This will be the 10th straight day of 100+ degrees in Sacratomato, Fornicalia.

I was driving down from the mountains on Saturday, watching the exterior temperature gauge creep up in my Urabus. It started at 86 degrees, then ended up at 117 degrees as I drove in downtown Sacratomato.

From Good Morning Vietnam:

— God, it’s warm, huh?
— Warm? No. This is a setting for a London broil.

– What’s the weather like out there?
– It’s hot! Damn hot! Real hot! Were you born on the sun? It’s damn hot!
– I saw — it’s so damn hot, I saw little guys, their orange robes burst into flames!

I overheard someone at work say: “It’s so hot I gotta get into the hot tub to cool off.”

So, with temperatures at “critical,” the 10th straight day of 100+ degree temperatures, what does the State of Fornicalia do? It lights up its hundreds of interstate highway signs all up and down the state, its breadth and width, which say: “CONSERVE ENERGY FLEX YOUR POWER.”

Huh. Like the way you’re conserving power, State of Fornicalia?

Particularly after:

Authorities in California warned that the high demand could lead later this afternoon to an emergency order for rolling blackouts, a dreaded term here that brings reminders of widespread blackouts in 2003 during an energy supply crisis.

Officials declared a power emergency earlier this afternoon, cutting electricity to some businesses that had voluntarily agreed to reduce power use in exchange for lower rates. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger ordered state agencies to reduce electricity consumption by 25 percent, acting on a prediction from the state’s power grid managers that demand would peak at 52,000 megawatts, a mark they had not expected to reach until 2011.

Now of course, a bit of history: former Governor Gray “Empty Suit” Davis tanked the entire state in 2003 over his ridiculous energy policies which resulted in Cal ISO going critical, the state’s bond ratings tanking and lawsuits abounding. This situation was the predicating event for the sacking of Davis and the election of Schwarzenegger.

The last major power plant built in Fornicalia was Sacratomato’s Rancho Seco nuclear power facility, which went online in 1977 and was shut down by voters in 1989. Rancho Seco spent much time down but not due to its nuclear components; primarily from its transformers and generators. Local voters hit their ballots and checked the “No Confidence” box in the Sacramento Municipal Utility District’s ability to capably run Rancho Seco which, incidentally, was a Babcock & Wilcox designed plant — just as was Three Mile Island.

Rancho Seco had a poor operating history and a lifetime capacity average of only 39%. Due to this poor operating history and increasing costs the plant was closed by public vote on June 6, 1989, though its operating license did not expire until October 11, 2008.

There have been a dearth of power generating plants since. And yet Fornicalia insists on being the recipient for thousands and thousands of illegal immigrants, not to mention those lawful citizens who for personal or business reasons are moving to this state when, on the other hand, the State of Fornicalia insists on refusing to build infrastructure, electrical generating stations included, for this drain on resources.

Why not build power plants? Three reasons:

• Political
• Environmental
• Enron

Huh? The effect of the Enron situation (as well as Gray Davis’s mismanagement of power and the resulting lawsuits in 2003) on investment money and confidence in power agencies is astoundingly negative. Some power companies will not, therefore, do business in Fornicalia when the state has a poor history with its energy management.

In the meantime, it’s still damned hot!

BZ

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice arrived in Beirut today and met with Lebanese Prime Minister Fuad Saniora. She went to Jerusalem next.

In a meeting that appeared tense, Saniora told the U.S. diplomat that Israel’s bombardment had taken his country “backwards 50 years,” the prime minister’s office said. And Nabih Berri, a veteran Lebanese politician who is Lebanon’s parliament speaker and Hezbollah’s de facto negotiator, rejected proposals brought by Rice almost as soon as she left.

Berri told Rice that a cease-fire must precede any talks about resolving Hezbollah’s presence in Lebanon, an official close to the speaker said. Rice, reflecting the U.S. view that a quick cease-fire would not be sustainable, had proposed that the fighting stop at the same time that an international force deployed in southern Lebanon, the official said. Rice also proposed that Hezbollah weapons be removed from a buffer zone extending about 18 miles from the Israeli border, said the official. He spoke on condition of anonymity because the talks were private.

This I suppose is all very well and good — but is it?

I refer once again to the title of my post: for what is Secretary Rice negotiating, and with whom?

“Negotiating” with the Lebanese prime minister achieves what, precisely, when Lebanon has little or, truly, no control over Hezbollah?

In my opinion, this visit is solely a photo op for nothing and will achieve nothing. There will be no cease fire on any side, and Israel should be completely let alone to achieve its ends.

The fundamental problem is Iran. It is supplying the missiles, the money, the guidance. Intelligence experts believe that Iran is solely responsible for Hezbollah’s raining missiles down on Israel in order to take world focus off the fact that Iran is moving forward with its nuclear weapons programs. This is, in truth, the Opening Act of Iran vs. The West. Syria is likewise a problem but taking its orders from Iran. Were Syria to be the subject of an incursion by Israel likely no one save Iran would come to its aid — certainly not Egypt or Jordan or Saudi Arabia.

The larger and, yet, “smaller” problem is that the only way to attack Militant Islam or Islamists and specifically, in this case, Hezbollah, is to make seemingly-offensive step up in our determination to do what needs to be done and that, because of the nature of their cowardice insofar as their hiding weapons and firing from civilian apartments, homes, edifices, etc., and frequently hiding behind and firing from behind innocent civilians, there necessarily must be resulting civilian casualties.

“As long as people keep talking, people won’t be dying,” I’ve heard recently. In this ages-old case, I don’t believe that to be true. Only actions will suffice.

We or Israel or other western nations either make this step or we shall surely fail. It is the nature of these heinous persons and of terrorists in general. “Negotiating” is NOT an option. There is no middle ground. We shall either win, or we shall lose. Israel either wins in this struggle or it loses its sovereign soil.

I am uncertain where this will all go. But as I’ve written before we are clearly at a crossroads; however, attempting to negotiate with Hezbollah, in this case, by way of the Lebanese PM will achieve positively nothing. The Lebanese government is a government in name only and it lives in fear of Hezbollah. How does one “negotiate” with such a loose, antiquated and dysfunctional “government” such as this?

In my opinion Israel has been very careful — perhaps even too careful in its application of force. This “war” will be at a high cost to Israel — and it appears Israel is hesitant to really pull off the gloves and apply heavy and overwhelming force. As it should. As we should.

At its base, the religion of Islam desperately needs a complete reformation. And it needs to have the discipline to achieve this reformation from within — or it will have reformation forced upon it in ways it cannot imagine, and it will not be pleasant for the inflicter(s) or the recipient.

BZ

Yes, another damnable American won the Tour de France for the 8th time in a row today!

Congratulations to Floyd Landis, who won the three-week long Tour de France, and acquired his first Yellow Jersey.

This is the 8th time an American has won the Tour, after the incredible Lance Armstrong won a record 7 years in a row, his final win occurring in 2005.

Landis, 31, is a man who, like many professional cyclists, keeps fighting even while keeping many of his true feelings hidden away, unwilling to share them with an intruding world.

When Landis is on his bike, he is usually stone-faced, failing to show even a hint of emotion — the product of a conservative upbringing and an intense discipline to keeping his true feelings under wraps.

The French, of course, said Landis “lacked panache, the style that characterized the great Tour champions like Lance Armstrong, Eddy Merckx and Bernard Hinault.” Headline writers at a French newspaper decided to write “Landis Out!” when he collapsed on the climb to La Toussuire — and it flat pissed him off. Competitors also said Landis didn’t have a strong enough team around him to fend off the attacks of rivals.

That pissed him off too.

So what did you learn, France and World?

Never, NEVER underestimate America.

You do so at your own peril.

BZ