The sky is falling. Falling; hell the sky is raining chunks of clotted air. The Kyoto Protocol. That First-World-Killing device we clearly should have signed. Al Gore the ‘Viro’s Whore knows that — and knows more than you do.

Because now AGVW says that cigarette smoke is a “significant contributor to global warming.”

Per the Drudge Report:

Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore warned hundreds of U.N. diplomats and staff on Thursday evening about the perils of climate change, claiming: Cigarette smoking is a “significant contributor to global warming!”

Gore, who was introduced by Secretary-General Kofi Annan, said the world faces a “full-scale climate emergency that threatens the future of civilization on earth.”

Gore showed computer-generated projections of ocean water rushing in to submerge the San Francisco Bay Area, New York City, parts of China, India and other nations, should ice shelves in Antarctica or Greenland melt and slip into the sea.

“The planet itself will do nicely, thank you very much — what is at risk is human civilization,” Gore said. After a series of Q& A with the audience, which had little to do with global warming and more about his political future, Annan bid “adios” to Gore.

Then, Gore had his staff opened a stack of cardboard boxes to begin selling his new book, “An Inconvenient Truth, The Planetary Emergency of Global Warming and What We Can Do About It,” $19.95, to the U.N. diplomats.

Can the UN sink any lower — where now a failed American Pol gets to shill his book in open session? Can we find someone to hawk control-top panty hose next week? How about some Ginsu Knives? — slices, dices, cuts prices? Can I interest you in some Guatemalan Viagra?

Please.

For a moment, if we were to credit this with even the remotest semblance of veracity, where would one now find the greatest abuse of smoking on the planet?

Certainly not in the United States, what with its Left-Driven proscribing of smoking and various laws that now even make it illegal in many jurisdictions to smoke in public. Can’t smoke in bars in Fornicalia. Can’t smoke within 25′ of doors in government buildings. Soon to be unable to smoke in your own vehicle if there is a child in the car — that would be child abuse!

Smoking in the US? Heretic! Blasphemer! Impious! Sacrilege!

Yes; certainly not in the United Snakes of America.

Where? Certainly heavily in Europe: Britain, Ireland, heavily in Scotland; Spain, Greece, heavy smokers in Italy; much smoking in Russia and its Balkanized satellites; China, India, Pakistan, Indonesia and Tonga.

Huh. Most everywhere except the United States.

Looks like the Euros and the rest of the developing world have something to work on, according to AGVW.

Trust me: I am no fan of cigarettes. I grew up in a household where my mother smoked more than the typical 1874 London factory. Her smoking was so despicable that it drove me, luckily, from cigarettes (and marijuana during the 60s and 70s) altogether.

My mother died of complications from COPD on May 14th of 2002. She literally ran out of breath, a short time following her 80th birthday, in a sterile, impersonal hospital. I can recall that was the only time I’d ever seen my father cry, holding her cool hand in his, cannula blanch marks on her face.

Despite that, I know that AGVW is, quite frankly, not only full of shit but focusing his ire on the wrong country.

Once again.

BZ

And an amazing one at that.

In partnership with Citgo for over 20 years as its sole-source petroleum provider, 7-11 has severed its ties with the Venezuelan-owned company on Wednesday the 27th — and had the balls to additionally indicate the reason was partially “due to politics.”

For those just tuning in, harken back to the toad-frog-faced Hugo Chavez making his pronouncement last week at the UN that the smell of sulfur remained on the podium at which he spoke due to President Bush’s presence there prior — and at that point crossed himself and declared Bush to be el diablo — the Devil.

Apparently 7-11 decided to make their own stand and distance themselves from Citgo gas and, in the process, moved to Tower Energy Group of Torrance, Calif., Sinclair Oil of Salt Lake City, and Houston-based Frontier Oil Corp.

And to this I say: bravo.

If I had a 7-11 anywhere near me, I’d purchase gas at their pumps just on principle.

There used to be a 7-11 on darned near every corner.

In today’s pussified environment, it took testosterone to say:

Regardless of politics, we sympathize with many Americans’ concern over derogatory comments about our country and its leadership recently made by Venezuela’s president,” said 7-Eleven spokeswoman Margaret Chabris.

“Certainly Chavez’s position and statements over the past year or so didn’t tempt us to stay with Citgo,” she added.

God bless 7-11 for that.

Even if 7-11 decided to pull this off for political reasons, fabulous. The timing couldn’t have been better.

Incidentally, for those interested, Chavez rules over Venezuela’s state-owned tar sands — an environment that requires much technical expertise, heavy work and consultation. It is estimated that, due to Chavez’s presence and overall inefficiency, Venezuela is experiencing a 15% diminishment of its oil capabilites each year.

Things are not as easy as they seem on the surface.

Where is Cindy now that we need her?

BZ

On Fox News Sunday, former President William Jefferson Clinton lit off on Chris Wallace after he said:

WALLACE: When we announced that you were going to be on Fox News Sunday, I got a lot of e-mail from viewers. And I’ve got to say, I was surprised. Most of them wanted me to ask you this question: Why didn’t you do more to put bin Laden and Al Qaida out of business when you were president?

Clinton thought he was blindsided by this but, likely, he was tired of having to address the issue as terrorism has become such an incredibly serious topic. Clinton said:

CLINTON: OK, let’s talk about it. Now, I will answer all those things on the merits, but first I want to talk about the context in which this arises.

I’m being asked this on the Fox network. ABC just had a right-wing conservative run in their little Pathway to 9/11, falsely claiming it was based on the 9/11 Commission report, with three things asserted against me directly contradicted by the 9/11 Commission report.

How odd. I’ve not yet met anyone or read anything that would indicate Clinton was even remotely “obsessed” with OBL. Anyone else know something about this or, as I wonder, is Clinton pulling a defense out of the proverbial thin air?

It is interesting to note that during the interview Clinton referred constantly to Richard Clarke’s book Against All Enemies. But as Byron York of National Review writes:

But Clarke’s book does not, in fact, support Clinton’s claim. Judging by Clarke’s sympathetic account — as well as by the sympathetic accounts of other former Clinton aides like Daniel Benjamin and Steven Simon — it’s not quite accurate to say that Clinton tried to kill bin Laden. Rather, he tried to convince — as opposed to, say, order — U.S. military and intelligence agencies to kill bin Laden. And when, on a number of occasions, those agencies refused to act, Clinton, the commander-in-chief, gave up.

That is not to say there is not blame to throw around. Clarke’s book documents the sorry state of the CIA, and their laissez-faire attitude to terrorism of the time.

This frightening paragraph from York regarding Clarke’s book:

But neither the FBI nor the CIA would say that al Qaeda was behind the bombing, and there was little support for a retaliatory strike. Clarke quotes Mike Sheehan, a State Department official, saying in frustration, “What’s it going to take, Dick? Who the shit do they think attacked the Cole, fuckin’ Martians? The Pentagon brass won’t let Delta go get bin Laden. Hell they won’t even let the Air Force carpet bomb the place. Does al Qaeda have to attack the Pentagon to get their attention?”

The sad answer: well, yes, they would have to.

The World Trade Center 1993; the US embassies; Khobar Towers; the USS Cole. The writing was on the wall and we all put our heads in the sand — Clinton, as the Commander In Chief, could have done more and clearly needed to.

Clarke, however, strays from the reservation when he ascribes Clinton’s refusal to deal with the problem to the Republicans who were “going after the President” following the Lewinsky affair.

That’s like my prior “cat in the glass post.” No one put ol’ Bill there but Bill.

Byron York hits to the core, however, when he summarizes:

But the bottom line is that Bill Clinton, the commander-in-chief, could not find the will to order the military into action against al Qaeda, and Bill Clinton, the head of the executive branch, could not find the will to order the CIA and FBI to act. No matter what the former president says on Fox, or anywhere else, that is his legacy in the war on terror.

Not only sad, but costly to our nation.

This is one more example of it being All About Bill Time. Wallace asks a reasonable question, one asked by many persons and, as a journalist, he decides it’s time to pose it to the former president. Instead of taking the high road and using what he said as “yes, I failed” and then turning it around by indicating there is always more one can do — Bill makes it all about that Evil Fox Network, the “making his bones“ Chris Wallace, the nasty Republican Empire, and then lies once again by saying he’s never criticized the President and then, in the very next sentence, criticizes the President. What manner and make of man is this who turns petulant, bratty and, in truth, into a bully with one question — and who demanded that a full 50% of the questions be about his new “program?”

Bill: your legacy will never change. I didn’t hate you, I felt sad for you; you even did one very important thing that I will always welcome, and that is put limitations on federal welfare. Score. But your legacy will always be a soiled dress, “that all depends on what the definition of is, is,” a cigar, a fat book on cutout racks and “I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.”

I’m sure Bill tried to pin the ears of Fox Network back and score points with his moveon.org buddies. But he came off as a petulant, stamping little kid.

BZ

Sometimes I wonder if I’m insane.

I’m, shall we say, “over 50.”

I don’t much recognize my country or my newspaper or my local channels or my job.

I wonder if my benefit package will be there when I retire.

Perhaps it’s time to take a stand for me and my others.

I can’t be the only one retiring or thinking about retiring at this moment.

______________________________

Do I hate certain persons?

You bet I do. I’ll also wager you and I share some persons we hate in common.

My most recent experience that got me to thinking:

So there I was. At the Monterey Fisherman’s Wharf with a rather urgent need requiring fulfillment. I had already tried two restrooms clogged with waiting persons or a flock of children and their fathers. That did nothing for my requisite demands.

I left the muni wharf for western reaches beyond. I tried another restroom. Locked. By this time I was bordering on psychotic. Nature wasn’t going away, that much was abundantly clear. I had already wasted ten precious minutes.

I finally found a bathroom in a State of Fornicalia complex and waited patiently for another few minutes whilst a man urinated in a closed stall. Now, let me make this straight: he could have used the Mark I, Model I urinal a few centimeters to his left; but no. He had to have an enclosed stall. And, as we all know, these enclosed stalls contain basic toilets replete with seats and everything.

Did he know I was there and waiting? Yes, because the larger handicapped toilet was otherwise occupied by someone clearly with pants around ankles, and the urinal then became occupied by the man ahead of me. So I already knew: this guy is peeing, he isn’t doing other things. He could hear myself and other persons clearing our throats, talking, letting those involved know that they were not the only ones on the planet. Common etiquette.

He finished and snatched the latch open, sliding out. Another guy hit the urinal. My only option was the smaller toilet stall. I walked inside and found the toilet seat down and completely covered in piss. This guy had pissed all over the toilet seat. Folks, I had to do something more serious than that and required said seat. All he’d had to do was lift the toilet seat itself, requiring something like 12 pounds of pressure on the lid. And then do what needed to be done. Knowing that other persons were behind him. I lit off like a Roman Candle.

The guy was probably a good ten years younger than me and taller and heavier. He was carrying a backpack, a large gut, and another bag over his shoulder. Short dark hair, glasses, shorts, sneakers. Tourist. My scope of vision narrowed and turned dark red.

“Hey asshole,” I purred warmly, “you just pissed all over the fucking toilet seat.” In the minute or so that followed I found my right hand around his throat squeezing with some decent pressure, pinning him up against the tile. Suffice to say I was rather irate. We exchanged a few further pleasantries and he wisely didn’t swing at me but scurried away when I came to my senses. I have never, ever, I swear to you, done anything remotely like this before.

But the exquisite rudeness and assumption of this portly fuckhead defintely pulled my chain.

I smartly concluded that it was time to leave the Monterey Fisherman’s Wharf.

What sets you off?

A few of my additional peeves:

• Driving 60 MPH in the far left lane when the freeway is clogged with traffic and the limit is 65, and there’s a good mile or more in front of you;
• Pacing the Kenworth tractor/trailer rig through the curves when you possess twice the engine he does and traffic behind you is backed up a good quarter mile;
• Being in a construction zone and talking on the phone, unmoving, whilst others behind you wait for you to move — and the light turns red — and you only wake up on the yellow and move ahead a few feet;
• Being in a movie theatre and deciding the deux ex machina is the perfect time to take that cell phone call — loudly;
• Dragging your two or three brats to the market or Costco or Sam’s Club and deciding to block an entire aisle while me and four others are stacked up, attempting to continue further up the aisle past you;
• Being in a restaurant and having to watch and listen whilst your kid(s) throw food about, scream at the top of their lungs, shriek at ear-piercing decibels, and you respond with complete indifference or eminently ignorable comments like “he does that all the time.” Folks, I came to the restaurant for a relaxing dinner, not to hear or watch or listen to your spawn break windows with their tight little vocal cords or shitty attitudes;

What pisses me off: people who think that they are apparently the only ones in the Universe and no one else exists.

What pisses YOU off?

BZ