17 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask: “Do you want fries with that?”

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”

5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks at work. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, immediately switch to Espresso the next morning.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write: “For smuggled diamonds.”

7. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

8. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a really serious face.

9. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”

10. Sing along when you attend the opera.

11. Go to a poetry recital, and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

13. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

14. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, “Rock Bottom.”

15. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream: “I won, I won!!”

16. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling: “Run for your life, they’re loose!”

17. Tell your children over dinner: “Due to the economy, we’re going to have to let one of you go.”

HOW TO DETERMINE YOUR PORN STAR NAME:

Your first name should be the name of your first pet: ________________.
Your second name should be the first street you ever lived on: _____________.

What’s your porn star name?

Salud!

BZ


Note to Readers: I am simply “politicked-out” today. . .

Everyone looks to the Republicans as the odd ones out. They lost, they lost big.

Well yes, to a degree. But now the newest issue of Time magazine posits: “How The Right Went Wrong.”

Time author Karen Tumulty writes:

These are gloomy and uncertain days for conservatives, who — except for the eight-year Clinton interregnum — have dominated political power and thought in this country since Reagan rode in from the West. Their tradition goes back even further, to Founding Fathers who believed that people should do things for themselves and who shook off a monarchy in their conviction that Big Government is more to be feared than encouraged. The Boston Tea Party, as Reagan used to point out, was an antitax initiative.

Star Parker, however, in Townhall.com writes:

The liberal media are having a field day trying to portray the Republican Party and conservatives in disarray. The crescendo has reached a new peak this week with Time magazine’s cover picture of Ronald Reagan with a tear on his cheek.

Further, she hits a Reality Home Run:

The idea that anything as American as differences of opinion within a party and political struggles for leadership would bring Reagan to tears is a joke. The only tears about his party and this country that he shed were tears of joy to be part of this great, free country.

So as we approach an election year with an outgoing second-term president, and a vice president who is not stepping forward for his party’s nomination, intra-party strife, as competing candidates try to define their own uniqueness, is as natural and American as apple pie. Ronald Reagan would have been perfectly at home.

It is actually not Republicans who are confused, but Time magazine.

When Reagan said, in 1985, that the “other side” was “bankrupt of ideas,” he was right. He meant that Democrats had no answer to the challenges this country was facing other than the big-government materialism that had already been shown to be the problem, not the solution.

This is as true today as it was 20 years ago.

It is also true that the ideological core of the Reagan revolution — traditional values and limited government — points the way to our future as much today as it did then. And Time’s reporters or anyone else would have a hard time finding conservatives who would question this.

Star Parker manages to whip it right back at Karen Tumulty when she says:

If journalists want to examine party disarray, perhaps they should be asking what it tells us about the state of the Democratic Party that Sen. Barack Obama, an unknown, with barely two years’ experience in a major political office, can be a serious candidate for its nomination for president.

You go, girl.

_________________________________________

Now to comment:

I’ve already done a post on this. Thousands of bloggers have done thousands of posts on this. They primarily come down on party lines. And there are those within each party who do nothing more than trot out what they expect to be the Standard Party Line, dependent on which side of the aisle one serves.

I have been taken to task on occasion for not completely towing said line for the GOP. OFW. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if we Conservatives cannot stop and stand a little introspection or some spit and lightning thrown our direction, then we truly are lost.

C’mon, get serious. We KNOW what to do. We KNOW how to get back to our basic values and tenets. It’s just a matter of finding the politicians with the proper set of balls, male or female, to get us back on track. I’ve already written about it here, following the recent election, and here following introspection on Reagan.

This is nothing particularly new; no one in either party stalks a strict party line. Yes, the GOP finds itself in some disarray. Pundits and bloggers such as myself disagree as to what it will take to reachieve our goals. But falling apart at the seams like no other time in GOP history? Nope. Wrong.

A flying demo version of the Airbus A380 has landed in New York — and another in Los Angeles.

This is “do-or-die” time for Airbus, having had many of its orders canceled by American companies such as UPS and FedEx.

The 239-foot-long A380, now the largest commercial (non-military) passenger plane in the world, can seat as many as 550 passengers, holds 81,890 gallons of fuel, cruise at 560 mph and fly some 8,000 nautical miles. German airlines Lufthansa flew the Airbus into Kennedy International on a demo flight.

The flights come as Airbus looks to put what Louis Gallois, co-chief executive of parent company European Aeronautic Defense and Space Co., called “the worst year for Airbus in its life” behind it. Airbus is seeking to recoup its losses by cutting 10,000 jobs and spinning off or closing six of its European manufacturing plants.

Think about this for a moment if you will. I wrote a prior post on Airbus vs. Boeing. Boeing is having one of its best years yet; Airbus, a consortium of businesses governmentally-supported by France, Germany and England, are doing their level best to level Boeing and, with three governments behind them, cannot do it.

Further, the Airbus A380 requires a massive upfit for those airports willing to berth the monster:

The company revised its plan to allow for arrival at both locations. Los Angeles sped up construction of a $9 million gate for the giant gate to accommodate the plane.

The A380 will potentially carry 550 passengers on two levels. I flew 18 times last year on small Southwest Boeing 737s. Many Southwest passengers possess carry-on luggage only. It can take up to a half hour (or more) to get on or off a 737.

Wonder what kind of time it will take to load and deplane 550 persons from an A380? Or, better yet, to extricate 550 passengers from two levels in an emergency?

Me fly on an A380? Not just no way, no damned way.

We are all imperfect.

Some are more imperfect than others.

And our own personal imperfections run towards more specifics than others.

My imperfections will not necessarily be those of you or your friends or neighbors.

How do we recognize our imperfections? Or do we even acknowledge them, as we should?

Are we aware of our limitations, our personal “chinks in the armour”?

We all have them. We have different explanations or labels for them. Perhaps you know them as your “hot buttons.” Perhaps you have many; luckily may you have few.

I have my own and they seem, to me, to be legion.

I have come to examine them now because, realizing that I suspect they are “legion,” I must needs reel them in to a reasonable level. I am married now. I have made a commitment to my wife and this requires introspection and examination. By its very nature.

And a further question: having realized and acknowledged our mutual imperfections, how must we then factor “forgiveness” into the equation?

For an aggrieved party, an affront, can there, must there, be forgiveness? And on what level? And for what affront? Are there steps or levels?

And how would the one of most egregious, infidelity, factor into imperfection and forgiveness? Can there, should there, be forgiveness?

Introspection. Questions.

How does one deal with imperfection when it comes? And how must one apply forgiveness?